The Dark Side

A cloud has been hovering over me and I’ve gone to “the Dark Side”.  (You know, Star Wars?)  I didn’t write yesterday because I had cramps really bad.  They made me think negative thoughts about my cycle, mostly “AF is on it’s way”.  I let these negative thoughts creep into my mind and they wouldn’t leave.  I have no spotting, so I should just keep being positive and think it’s implantation cramping.  But I couldn’t, and still am struggling now.

I still have cramps but they have not been as bad today.  They come and go.  My negative mood subsided a little during the day because I’m surrounded by middle schoolers and amazingly they help cheer me up.  I have to be smiley so they will be motivated to learn.

I didn’t want to share this, but I thought maybe my fellow “infertiles” could help cheer me up.  It’s different sharing this with people not experiencing it.  They can feel bad for me and tell me everything will be okay, but only you all know the feelings I am experiencing.  The torture of every “symptom” since PG symptoms are similar to AF symptoms.  I have to distance my emotions even writing this because thinking about how low I felt yesterday drags me back down.

Did anyone experience cramping after transfer?

If only my husband had Jedi mind control.  I read on another’s blog that after transfer they should just put us to sleep for two weeks.  I completely agree.  LOL.

Thanks for listening,





About KB, Twin Mom

T&K--this year we celebrate 8 years of marriage. It took three years of ttc (trying to conceive), but we are now the proud parents to A&L, our g/b twins. A&L turn 4 this fall! Journey to Parenthood (now known as Twin Mom Life) was started to share our story and track our (in)fertility journey as we moved towards parenthood. Now the blog is about life as a twin mom, dealing with endometriosis, my healthy living journey, and life in general.
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9 Responses to The Dark Side

  1. Rob Pollak says:

    My wife did. And had some spotting. And voiced her frustration that the symptoms for Pms, pregnancy, and all the meds were basically the same. So you could reasonably draw any conclusion you want. Nothing you can do but wait while incessantly freaking out.

  2. Rebecca says:

    I totally had cramps everyday since 1dp5dt. Today is 9dp5dt and i got my positive beta. I think it is a good sign.

  3. Oh – I hope you are feeling better today! 🙂 I’m sure you are OK. I agree with you that we should be put out for that two weeks after the Transfer. I am so scared, girl. I found out today that I do my Retrieval on Saturday, 1/26/13 and our Baby day is either Tuesday, 1/29 or Thursday, 1/31. I’m still trying to be optimistic (which is the OPPOSITE of how I usually am) – but seriously, this is the closest I have ever come to being preggers… I am trying to be optimistic and stay optimistic. I wish you nothing but luck and send prayers and good thoughts your way. You are giving me such hope!!!! 🙂 Talk to you later. Again, I hope and pray that you are feeling better today and your babies are doing good.

  4. Kitten says:

    I’ve never done a transfer, so I can’t weigh in with personal experience, but I have friends who experienced cramping afterwards. I whole-heartedly agree that we should hibernate for the 2ww. It’s by far the worst part of the emotional roller coaster.

  5. Personally I think cramps at this stage are good. AF cramps wouldn’t be coming this early, no? But what the heck do I know. I think the only thing we can do is feel what we feel and ride it out. We are going to analyze the crap out of every sensation; second, third, and fourth guess; oscillate from certainty in both directions; and generally be miserable and vulnerable and scared until we get those betas. Hang in there! You are not alone!

  6. ivfmale says:

    The 2ww is miserable. It’s hard to ignore the waiting and enjoy life when everything you do/eat/drink you must consider yourself pregnant.

    Stay away for google and try to occupy your time. Worrying about symptoms is more harmful than helpful. I know it is hard, but try to avoid thinking about it and know in your heart you’ve done everything you could to make this work. Take comfort in that fact and for now just live in the moment. After the beta results you can start thinking about the future again.

    My very best wishes to you!

  7. I haven’t had a transfer yet (I’m on day 6 of stims), but I know what it’s like to be so worried that you look for every sign and wonder what every little twinge means. Try to relax (I know, easier said than done) and take care of yourself!!

  8. Are you taking progesterone post-transfer? If you are, that will keep AF from starting, so any cramping you’ve had is probably implantation related. I cramped with each cycle post-transfer, almost as early as the following day, and I was pregnant both times.

    • K says:

      Yes I’ve been taking crinone 8% once a day. Thanks for sharing. 🙂 I’m very hopeful. I have had a mega headache tonight, but since that’s a symptom I’m trying not to complain. Lol.


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