In Between

I find the “in between” stage of anything to be excruciating.  Waiting for something can be a difficult task.  Waiting for a score report on a big test, waiting for your baby to arrive when you are pregnant, waiting for your toddler to “get” the idea of no, stop, the idea of bedtime, that throwing food, hitting your sibling, screeching in Starbucks are all rude.

I’m having a difficult time waiting for my 22 month old toddler twins to become good citizens in their toddler world.  I find myself using my angry voice, and threatening loss of activities.  As if a 1 1/2  year old child even gets what I’m talking about, or why I am upset.  Part of my dramatic reactions to their negative behavior is that I’m with them 24/7 as caregiver right now.  I’m a teacher, and I figured why put them in daycare when I can care for them myself.  I wanted to enjoy being mommy daycare, but I’m finding it more challenging than when I had four preps while finishing my masters degree. Eek!

I get stuck on the twin thing–“Poor me, no one understands what I go through with twins”.  I can’t help it.  Two the same age are sometimes nearly impossible.  Maybe I just have poor time management and organization skills.  Here’s a look into my day (using today as the example):
6:30 wake up
A is already awake and T has changed and fed her.  I change into my workout gear and get my supplies ready.
7:00 L is awake, get him set up for breakfast, start workout
7:30 workout complete…dishes, breakfast clean up, drink some water, kids play somewhat nicely (I go in to say good job playing nice a few times, but more so to stop hitting, or stealing toys from each other).  Prep snack for A&L so I can try to shower.
8:40 attempt shower/change/hair/etc while they eat snack and watch Elmo
9:03 I realize I still haven’t eaten anything.  They are done with snack and TV.  They demand to get out of chairs. I try to put them in play room again so I can eat.  They aren’t satisfied with this. They run around and I try to make myself an egg with spinach since I’m on a fix right now (#21dayfix).  Another post to come soon about my fitness routine.  It’s been amazing!
9:20 Is the bag packed?  Check the bag for diapers, lunch items in case we are not back in time, snacks, waters, wallet, phone.  Check.
9:30 Where are your shoes??!! Try to find shoes for A&L.  Oops, better check diapers one more time.  One. Two.  Diapers done.  Now the fun of getting two toddlers into their car seats.
9:40  Finally everyone is in the car ready to go.
9:55 Starbucks drivethru-YEAY!
10:10 Arrive at Baby/Natural Mama store.  Get ADD necklace. Yes, for myself.  I need better focus.  My mind wanders and I find it hard to concentrate.
10:20 On the road again, heading to the indoor playspace-30 min drive
10:55 Finally arrive at playspace. Play for awhile and enjoy our time.  Another kid knocks over A when I’m not looking and tells his mom they collided.  Yeah, right kid.  Not cool.  L has a few tantrums when his sister even comes near what he is playing with.  I have to talk him down from getting mad at a baby about taking a spoon he wasn’t even playing with at the moment.  Thankfully, they are really good when it comes to listening when it is time to leave the playspace.
12:35ish Everyone is back in the car and ready to head home for lunch.  It’s later than I’d like to have lunch, but we got to the playspace so late, and it’s so far, I wanted them to have time to get out a lot of energy.
1:20 Finally home-lunch hour traffic. Lunch.  Maybe they’ll nap? As if. HA.  T converts L’s bed to toddler style bed since he’s now climbed out of the bed twice the day before.
No one naps.  They play, somewhat nice, minimal intervention by me.  When they start getting antsy I get us in the car and head out to search for a bed rail for L’s new setup.
3:40 Head out to Target
4:00 Target here we are.  A nasty storm is rolling in so I take the stroller in (since they are now about to pass out from not napping anyway).  The storm comes faster than I thought, or I spend too much time shopping, haha.
5:00 Head back home.  Dinner time.  Dinner.  Playtime.  Tubs. Story time.  L won’t sleep in new setup.  Up/down/up/down.  Oh, and Target didn’t have a rail small enough for a crib toddler bed.  I close him in the room to see what he does. He’s crying.  I wait it out a little.  He’s still in the Pack N Play.  It’s 9:19. I’m tired.  I’m ignoring TV time with T to write this, oh wait…
9:28 now.  L had his diaper off-that’s always a blast. HA.  Tried his bed again.  No luck.  Now he’s in the Baby Einstein chair.  Hoping he falls asleep and I can transfer him to his bed.

  Before this stage, they could be more easily persuaded to listen, to follow instructions, to just lay in bed because it was bed time.  I imagine the next stage will be them understanding our requests.  Not necessarily that they will follow them, but they’ll know what we want, what to expect, how the routine goes.  Right now though?  We are in between then and one day.  How do you handle this stage?  How do you handle this stage with twins?  How can I find balance and not get so worked up about their failure to comply?  How do I transition L easier from crib to toddler bed?

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About KB, Twin Mom

T&K--this year we celebrate 7 years of marriage. It took three years of ttc (trying to conceive), but we are now the proud parents to A&L, our g/b twins. A&L turned 3 this fall! Journey to Parenthood (now known as Twin Mom Life) was started to share our story and track our (in)fertility journey as we moved towards parenthood. Now the blog is about life as a twin mom, dealing with endometriosis, my healthy living journey, and life in general.
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11 Responses to In Between

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I try not to wish time away, because the last 21 months have definitely taught me that the days are long and the years are short, but I see people with older kids who are past that tantrum stage and I can’t help but wish we were there already.

  2. Cheryl says:

    Wow! I’m exhausted just reading about your day. Every parent experiences these challenges. I promise you’ll get through these very challenging years but you’ll need to fly by the seat of your pants like all the mothers before you. Can’t wait to see you next week and hopefully give you a much needed break. You were once my toddler driving me crazy. Lol. But just look at the wonderful adult you’ve become! I know it’s hard for you to realize right now but you’ll miss this days. I know I do!

  3. I’m not sure if I have ever commented on your blog or not, or if I have it must have been a long time ago! We are VERY much on the same page right now. First of all, my boy/girl twins just turned 2 last week. Second, I’m also a teacher and am with them 24/7 during the summer, which is definitely a full time job. Third – I’m also in the middle of my first 21 day fix and I really like it! Though I’m not exactly sure I’ve lost much weight…but my overall health I’m sure is improving. Any recipes really working for you? And finally, about the twins. I am finding mine MORE exhausting now than when they were newborns. Gosh – they do not listen. My daughter has learned how to stall, and wants to do everything herself, so much that if I help her in the slightest she throws a fit and starts over. My son is hitting, pinching…screaming “no”. And all of these things are relatively new. I suppose it’s just what being 2 is like. But by the time they go to bed each night, I’m totally spent. So I feel you. Looking forward to reading more, as we have so much in common!

    • K, Twin Mom says:

      I’ve been blog MIA so you probably didn’t realize our similarities before. Now I feel I need the connections again to others that really get it.
      Oh that is funny! Are you on Instagram (@twinmomK) or Pinterest (brownlife247 I think is me)? I use those for collecting and sharing recipes and fitness stuff. You just described my A(girl)&L(boy), except my girl is like your boy and my boy like your girl. Lol! I’m about to write a post on bedtime routine. My latest disaster and I think it’s my own fault. I lost 10lbs on my first fix but the scale didn’t show it until the end. I flowed the meal plan exact my first round and I did doubles week. This round I’m lazy. I cave easier because of the emotional stress. I did lose another 5 following the healthy lifestyle and continuing with the exercise. But now I’m back up the 5. I refuse to go over 130 from now on. Just because I put in all that effort you know? I lost big with inches. My hips were 40 when I started. They are 32 now. 🙂

  4. Theresa says:

    2 is so much fun isn’t it? 🙂 Actually, a lot of it is fun, but so much is also so frustrating!! Luckily, our twins don’t fight bedtime, so even if its been a crazy whiny bad day, they’ll at least go to bed! But you know from my last post that I can relate!

  5. Yep. Right there with ya… except the twin part. But everything is a battle right now. EVERYTHING!!

  6. Right there with ya – twins turned two late June (girl, girl) and I also have a 9 month old, and I am also a teacher. It is so frustrating – you can’t wait for summer to be with them, then when you are with them you can’t wait for hubby to come home for some relief (or maybe just me???). I would enjoy being a mommy much more if all my kids were perfectly behaved! I feel like I discipline them all day long – stop hitting/biting/stealing/taking off diaper, etc. Times two. And mine are very sneaky – if one does something wrong and I say “no” the other does it within a couple minutes. Hard no to laugh and reinforce it. But it is pretty cute. I love having twins, but I am so tired mentally, physically, and emotionally at the end of the day.

  7. vidatwin says:

    Hi K! I couldn´t help but smile all the time as I was reading your post. My twin girls turned 2 last december and I still find myself using a lot of my angry voice :). Even though their vocabulary has taken a hugh leap in the last couple of months, of course they don´t understand everything yet! I found myself telling them “to do as they are told”, again and again; and got angry when they would´t. And then it hit me… all they could hear was probably “bla, bla, bla”. So here I am, trying to find ways to explain myself…

    What is working for me are big spaces. That way they can go and explore at their leisure. Especially parks, where every rock, leave, stick, flower is a wonderful discovery. Hope it helps.

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